It seems we have an instinctive understanding of rules. We know what we should do – and we know what others should do. Of course, as the Apostle Paul said in Romans 7, we really struggle with doing what we know we should do!
But what we often find unbearable is observing someone else break the rules.
A number of years ago, I smuggled Stacy away from the family on a trip to Germany – we were almost alone (we did have a nursing Caleb along). While we were away, Melissa went to stay with her great-grandparents, Betty and David. Now Melissa had a reputation in our home – she was the rule keeper. If she was given a task, she would do it. Given a boundary, she would stay within it. But Melissa was also known for making sure everyone else obeyed the rules. Should they cross the line, Melissa would be quick to run to the authorities (us) with details of the infraction.
While staying with Grandpa David and Grandma Betty, Melissa suffered tattling withdrawals. One day, Grandma Betty came home from shopping and was met at the door by a troubled Melissa. After a quick greeting, Melissa exclaimed with pursed lips, “Grandma Betty – Grandpa David did not make the bed today like you asked! I wanted to let you know.” Then, her little eyes opened up as wide as silver dollars, as she proclaimed, “I know the rules!”
This anecdote highlights a troubling tendency within the Christian church – a propensity to follow a series of propositions rather than developing a personal relationship with Christ.
We love rules, don’t we? We seek to know the rules. We want our teachers to give us rules. And if we don’t like the rules, we enjoy analyzing which rules we think are worthy of our obedience.
But sadly, those who seek only the rules will live lives of defeat and emptiness – regardless of the merit of said rule. Moralism always leads to either pride or despair.
The prideful moralist will hide his own inability to live up to the standard of perfection by turning their attention to the failings of others. Consider the Pharisee in Luke chapter 10. He was thankful that he was not like other men; “extortioners, [the] unjust, adulterers,” and the worst example of all, the “tax collector!” Right beside him was a man who lived spiritually far below the lofty Pharisee – and the Pharisee took pride in all he did. He proudly noted how he fasted twice a week and tithed on all he possessed.
How easy it is to see the sins in others and to be blinded to the sin that so besets us. The Lord reminded us of this in the Sermon on the Mount; we seek out the speck of sin in our brother while ignoring the log of sin in our own eye.
The false confidence of the Pharisee will be his undoing. When the Lord separates the sheep and the goats, his false pride will reveal an empty, unloving heart.
But even more damning and dangerous is the impact the Pharisee can have on others. There will be those who look to the Pharisee as the standard, and their propensity to follow the rules as a method of victory. But this conscientious rule keeper will sadly fall. There is no way for sinful man to keep the perfect law of God. Nor can man keep the artificial and extra-biblical rules of the Pharisee. Despair awaits the one who tries to keep the rules on his own.
Yet, this is not to say we should not be aware of the rules! Jesus said that we are to love the Lord with all our heart, soul, mind and strength and love our neighbor as ourselves (Mark 12), and that in doing this we will fulfill all the law of God. He also said, if we love Him, we will keep His commandments (John 14).
So, how do we do this? How can we follow the Lord and successfully live out the law without becoming a Pharisee or falling into despair?
The secret is in Ephesians 2:8-10: “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.”
We must understand that we are saved by His work, not by ours. We do not add one thing to our salvation – it is all a work of the Lord. There is no pharisaical boasting allowed! We are His workmanship – He is the potter, we are the clay (Romans 9). Yet, we understand we are saved for the works that He will do through us!
He saves us, He fills us with His Spirit, and then He uses us to keep the rules – to live out His law. But we don’t keep the rules to make ourselves look good for Jesus, Jesus keeps the rules through us for His glory! Being a Christian is not, “come as you are, stay as you are.” Nor is it, “Only come if you fit my mold of perfection.” But it is actually, “Come as you are, and watch as God is glorified by how He changes you!”
Let us all evaluate our lives against the Word of God to make sure we are not living as prideful Pharisees or desperate failures. Instead, let us pray that the Lord will give us His Spirit to live in victory, rejecting sin and embracing the ways of God.
Good article. I read another article today that reveals another side of this topic. The article is called “Who Are You Calling a Pharisee? and Why?”
“Here’s an excerpt from John MacArthur, as he explains a common misuse of the term ‘Pharisee’. From his book: Reckless faith: When the church loses its will to discern:
By: Stacy McDonald on February 19, 2008
at 4:43 am
You’re right, it seems that a good antidote for self-righteousness is gratitude a la Ephesians 2. Every Christian who has felt God’s work in their lives should joyfully go about doing His work and following His word, not so that they might lord over others (…and such were some of you…), but because God has given so graciously and freely.
What an awkward situation it could be, when the Master calls for an accounting of what we’ve done with what He’s given us, and all we can say is that we’ve buried our joy, peace, and love rather than using it for the increase of His kingdom.
By: kb on February 19, 2008
at 8:32 am
This is an excellent article. So many heart-probbing tidbits to take away. I was particularly struck by, “The prideful moralist will hide his own inability to live up to the standard of perfection by turning their attention to the failings of others”.
This is something we all could be reminded of more often. It is very easy to seek what we believe the Lord deems as ‘the rules’ and then rake over our fellow Christian to see just how holy or unholy they are.
Not only do we need to remind ourselves to take the log out of our own eye, but to not fall to the extreme of ignoring all rules because we are to redeemed through grace so we can ‘come as you are’. Mr. McDonald, you summed it up wonderfully with this…
‘Being a Christian is not, “come as you are, stay as you are.” Nor is it, “Only come if you fit my mold of perfection.” But it is actually, “Come as you are, and watch as God is glorified by how He changes you!”’
By: NeKisha on March 3, 2008
at 1:35 am
Thank you for this article. In trying to find where I fit theologically within the Christian community, I have felt positively bombarded by rules! (Maybe this is because I was raised Roman Catholic.) But, in all seriousness, I have certainly found it troubling that I have been approached time and again with an attitude of, “Oh, you do such and such. How can you even call yourself a Christian?” I call myself a Christian because I believe in the saving power of Jesus Christ and I have committed my life to following and honoring Him. The Christian life is a journey, not a checklist. Thank you for reminding us all of this!
Blessings,
Bethany
By: Bethany on March 7, 2008
at 11:54 pm
I know many Christians who sin “joyfully” and actually need to know about all the rules. Rules keep us safe. What do I tell my children then? Obey as you grow spiritually. No, I tell my children to obey…period. We have to be careful that we don’t fall into the trap of the Emergent Church mentality and lukewarmness. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with trying to act good. Our hearts don’t always want to obey, but we need to obey. In my opinion, we should obey and then pray that our hearts line up so that we can obey joyously. Obedience doesn’t always bring joy to the flesh as we would like, but later on it’s rewards are joy. We are like children and don’t always understand obedience, but it’s necessary to have standards. Where we err is when we think we don’t sin, but everyone else does– which has nothing to do with living by godly rules. We often confuse God’s rules with man’s rules and rebel against both to our own peril. In the end we’re right where the world wants us…unsure of any set standard…afraid of being called judgmental or a Pharisee.
Hope this made sense.
:)
By: Kaye :) on March 9, 2008
at 7:51 pm
Hi Kaye,
My problem is when we look to the obedience of rules for salvation, not rules in and of themselves. The issue is this – where is our confidence? Is it in the finished work of Christ or in our ability to follow rules. Those who make rules the litmus test also tend to add to God’s Law, and then suggesting that the truly holy will live just like them.
Consider for a moment the nation of Israel in bondage. The Lord came and “saved” them from the hand of the Egyptians. They were called His people. It was after that the Lord gave the Law.
Jesus Himself said in John 14, “If you love Me, keep my commandments.” So, as Christians, we should follow the commands of Christ. But we should not trust in our ability to keep the Law as meritorious. Nor should we worry much about man’s rules.
Let us take the yoke of Christ upon us. His is an easy and light yoke, and with it we find rest for our souls (Matthew 11:28-30).
By: James McDonald on March 10, 2008
at 8:17 pm
Hi,
Thanks for your explanation. It’s a great one. I guess one area I’m concerned about is when even God’s rules for living are thrown in to the understandable rebellion against unnecessary laws of man. The Titus 2 woman is an example. God’s Word teaches that a woman should be Keeper of her Home and the older women are to teach the younger women. Titus 2 doesn’t tell us that once the children are raised a woman should leave her home to work. This rule for living has been ignored for so long that it’s now considered by most as a man made law. To bring up Titus 2 in a church setting nowadays would be considered judgmental and trying to impose Pharisee rules.
I know of many women who spend hours in the Word, but leave their homes an empty shell in order to work outside the home. I wonder why all the Scriptures about women staying in the Home are ignored.
It goes without saying that I’m not perfect so I don’t want to come across as if I think I know how others should live, but I didn’t write Titus 2.
Once again. I hope this made sense.
By: Kaye :) on March 14, 2008
at 12:34 pm
Hi Kaye,
You have another good comment. I agree with much of what you write. But the issue is this – we cannot add more to the Word than what is there.
The Word does not prohibit women from working outside the home after the children are gone.
Now, that said, it is certainly difficult, if not impossible, for most older women to fulfill their call in Titus 2, and this to me is a real issue. But there are situations that fall outside the normative pattern of Scripture.
That said, the concept is to understand the spirit of the law, not just the letter. Can an angry woman forced to stay at home be much of a help or teacher? The real issue is this – do they know the love and power of Jesus?
Here is where teaching the whole counsel of God is so crucial. There are many areas where we need to teach the truth – but always in love (2 Tim 2:24-26).
And I do pray that God will bring more seasoned Titus 2 women to serve the church. The church certainly needs more!
By: James McDonald on March 16, 2008
at 11:42 pm
Hi Again,
I understand your point about the Word not prohibiting an older woman from working outside the home after the children are gone, but I don’t agree with it. I believe Titus 2 expresses that the older women are to teach the younger ones. Why would I want to learn from a older woman who doesn’t practice what she “preaches”. I know that sounds harsh and I don’t mean to. From where I sit there isn’t one older woman I can call and confidently ask for advice. My mentor is someone I began writing via email. She lives on the other side of the US. The others are busy at work outside the home.
You’re right when you say we can’t add to the Word, but I can’t suppose that the Word teaches that a woman should work outside her home (after children are gone) either. I believe that line of thinking blew in with the feministic agenda (and it didn’t happen overnight) Forgive me for saying that here. I’m not directing that comment directly toward you.
If a woman is angry and forced to be home then I think she has a bigger issue with womanhood. She is the one in error for line of thinking. As one takes medication when one is ill a woman must study God’s Word to get herself out of that mindset. I believe God made men and women equal, but different in their roles. To be Keeper of the Home, dare I say, Queen of her domain is the rightful place for the woman God created. To be provider and feed his family is the rightful place for the man God created. If a man does not provide for his family, “…he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” I Tim. 5:8
Also, as far as the Word prohibiting….the Word doesn’t prohibit smoking or drugs, but I have assume that when the Word says. our bodies are a temple unto the Lord, that I should take care not to divulge in these two vices. It’s not a gigantic leap for me to assume that Titus 2 means a women of any age should be the Keeper of her Home. Just as it’s not a gigantic leap for me to assume that a man should be provider whether he has children in his home or not.
Once again, I hope this came across the right way. My intention is not to offend, far, far from it.
Kaye
By: Kaye :) on March 31, 2008
at 1:04 pm
Hi Kaye,
Thanks again for writing. I appreciate your heart and your comments. And I understand your position.
My point stated above is that this is an area that is not explicitly covered in the biblical text. There are many situations in life where a woman might need to work to survive. In such a case, we would be wrong to say she was in sin in working outside the home.
The church of Jesus certainly needs more “Titus 2″ women to help teach young women. The church also needs more “Titus 2″ men. This should be our prayer. When a woman chooses to stay home after her children are grown and serve the church, we should all rejoice! More pastors should encourage this practice.
Yet it is unwise, and potentially harmful, to build a rule where there is ambiguity in Scripture.
I pray this is helpful.
Grace and peace,
By: James McDonald on April 1, 2008
at 1:24 am
Hi,
Thanks for your kind response.
I agree, more pastors should encourage the practice of a woman choosing to stay home after children are grown and serve the church.
I also agree that there are circumstances in which a woman has to work to survive. A dear friend, who was abandoned by her husband, is one such woman. She has a heart for Home and believes that is a woman’s place. Unfortunately, the sin of her husband has caused her to have to enter the workforce in order to pay for her Home. I have a special place in my heart for her.
Thanks again for your kind response.
Sincerely,
Kaye
By: Kaye on April 1, 2008
at 11:30 am